Is March Madness more addicting than heroine? I’m not saying no, but click the link to find out

Tonight the magic comes back to us, after 3 brutal days with no March Madness I’m jonesing for some college basketball worse than the 130 pound guy wearing a wife beater, plaid shorts, horribly done arm tattoos, and right around 4 and 1/2 teeth at your local 7 Eleven is jonesing for his next hit of crack. Savor every minute of these next four days because before you know it you’ll blink and it’ll be gone. Even on a year most would call “boring” March Madness still takes the cake over any sporting event you could think of.

The weekend tips off (get it) with FSU taking on Gonzaga. I’m not sure how after all these year of the Zags supposedly having an elite level college basketball team are they going to have to disappoint everyone who has took them in their bracket for people to stop believing in them. I feel like at any given point at any given season you can just state that Gonzaga is overrated and most likely everyone is going to agree with you. For that reason I’m on Florida State big time in this match up. FSU is a 7.5 point underdog to the Bulldogs and I think that is a very generous line. I’d be all over Florida State in that one and quite possibly on the ML as well. I will be very surprised if Gonzaga makes it out of this weekend and am a firm believer it could happen tomorrow evening. A good upset is really what we need in this tournament, and what better way to kick it off than with a team known for underachieving.

Starting about 30 minutes later we have Purdue and Tennessee. The spread on this game is a hell of a lot closer than what I was expecting. UT would seem like the clear choice for me here but this is what you call a rat line. It’s a little too good to be true and for that reason I’d definitely be on Purdue to cover and the money line. Tennessee gets out and runs the floor probably as well as I have ever seen. They also operate out of the half court about as efficiently as any team you’ll find in the tournament. Very real chance Tennessee pulls this one off as they should, but in my dumb ass gambling brain every sign is telling me to go Purdue, so that’s the best advice I can give to anyone else. Also UT has a dude who’s first name is Admiral. Like that’s pretty bad ass I don’t care who you are. You can’t stand there and tell me you wouldn’t be mildly scared of fighting a guy named Admiral, like who wouldn’t be?

Wrapping the first night up we have UVA and Oregon on the ticket. Oregon is arguably the hottest team in the country right now. Also the only low seed to make it to the Sweet Sixteen this season Oregon has a lot to hang their hat on at this point. I’m truly behind Virginia in this one and the spread reflects that. Virginia plays an absolutely disgusting style of basketball because it is as boring as it comes, and Oregon may rival that with their hard nosed style of play themselves. The total for this one is coming in at 120 right now which is stupid low, and the under still is probably the better bet here. I wouldn’t be surprised to have this one end with a football score on the board. This game being the night cap with the way these two teams play is pass out on the couch mid game city, I’m talking you may sleep harder than a nap during the masters. So if you have a lot riding on this game some coffee, redbull, or adipex wouldn’t be the worst idea ever.

Friday has a much more interesting slate in my mind, Duke, UNC, and Kentucky playing on the same day will just make my timeline absolutely slammed full of rabid fans chirping at each other of these games and I can not wait. I eat that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They may not always be right but damn if the fan bases of those teams aren’t as passionate as they come, sometimes to the point of idiocy but that’s what makes it so much better. Just one fan being so blinded by hate for the other that they make can’t see things that clearly happened in these games.

LSU and MSU start the night off. In my opinion the best game to really ease everyone into a great evening of collegiate basketball. This game is like the couple of beers you drink at the house before you go out and get absolutely shit housed at the bar with your buddies, you always appreciate those first couple but you know the real fun is coming. North Carolina and Auburn should be an absolute barn burner. I’m going to be genuinely concerned I may pull something in my neck trying to keep up with these two teams running up and down the court. If the score was 10-7 within the first two minutes I really wouldn’t be the least bit surprised, not even in the slightest. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit or keep from screaming this whole game for all the points scored because you better believe I’m taking this over the total is sitting pretty at 165 right now and that’s so high they are basically trying to tell me that I am too big of a puss to take it, and they’re dead wrong. They should be lucky I don’t put my mortgage on that over.

Duke takes on a tough and gritty Virginia Tech team, while Kentucky is going to be playing a hot Houston team who has been on absolute fire. These two games will overlap and like I’ve said before I can’t wait. These will be the best couple of hours of my week. I hope some of my friends threaten to kill each other while these games are happening. Tech is a very tough team physically and they may slow Duke down for a couple of seconds in the first minute of the first half. I could be dead wrong but I think Duke will handle this one pretty easily, Tech doesn’t have the fire power to be able to stay on the court with the Blue Devils and I’d say UCF was going to be the hardest game for them in the first two weekends. Kentucky has what I’d say is a lot taller task on their hands, depending on the health of their best player PJ Washington. PJ tweeted a video (link below) of him walking today without a cast, I can’t see him doing this for any reason if he does not have the full intention to play. Even with Washington healthy he isn’t going to be 100 % and I think Houston matches up well with UK, both teams really want to run the floor and get their athletes in space and if Houston is hitting I can see them staying within 5-10 points of Kentucky for this one. But ultimately I believe UK is going to take care of business and advance.— Paul Washington Jr (@PJWashington) March 27, 2019

Boring picks again I know pretty much favorites across the board but that’s how this tournament has went so why try to argue it now? I owe Dickie V an apology as well for calling him senile after seeing his bracket. Turns out he has just as good a shot at being right as anyone else going straight 1 and 2 seeds in the Elite Eight. So hats off to you Vitale turns out, you may actually know college basketball. Who’d have thought it?

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